


Running Away

by surefinewhatever23



Category: Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types, The X-Files
Genre: Bisexual Dana Scully, F/F, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:42:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29101212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surefinewhatever23/pseuds/surefinewhatever23
Summary: Clarice Starling is temporarily reassigned to the X-Files for two weeks while Agent Doggett is away for a family emergency. Dana Scully has been spiraling since the loss of Mulder and William, and Clarice might be the only one who can get through to her.
Relationships: Dana Scully/Clarice Starling
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Running Away

This is the second time this year that Scully has felt abandoned, first by Mulder and then by Doggett. She knows it’s not fair, that the two situations are completely distinct, but she’s hurt and it’s easier to cope this way. The other thing that makes it easier is the string of one-night stands she’s been having. 

Slightly blurred memories of soft skin against hers or strong dark arms are more comforting than sitting alone at home. She’d much rather be surrounded by the arms of some beautiful lover than suffocating in the memory of the child and partner that she had lost. 

Somehow all of the rules and boundaries Scully had forced herself to follow for so many years are suddenly not important anymore. She always kept her private life away from work, but she made the mistake of drunkenly calling Starling late one night. 

And for whatever reason, Clarice didn’t say ‘no.’ Maybe she, too, was tired of boundaries or maybe she couldn’t resist older women. Not that Scully was _that_ much older, but still. 

First it was one night, then two. Then it was sneaking out during lunch for a quickie in Starling’s car. There were never any plans made, just a phone call or whispers in her ear. No promises of monogamy. No promises whatsoever really. 

So why does she feel like she crossed a line yesterday? 

Last night Scully met up with an old friend and ended up spending the night with him. Being in his arms, in his house, was the exact opposite of the past nights spent with Clarice. 

When Scully snuck out in the morning, she caught a glance of herself in the mirror. She looked tired and drained. A shower and subtle makeup covered all of that up, but Scully still felt off by the time she made it into the office. 

Their eyes meet and they awkwardly say good morning. Clarice doesn’t ask Scully how her evening went. If she’s being honest, she wanted to see Dana again last night. She wants more than just one or two nights spent in the older woman’s arms. She makes her way over to sit on the edge of the desk and decides to ask Scully on a real date. 

Scully nods in acceptance, but doesn’t say much else. All of a sudden straightening the papers on her desk needs her full attention. There’s a palpable tension in the air. Starling is happy that Scully agreed to go on a date but she expected her to at least look a little excited. 

\--------

“You know I didn’t even have a desk until last year?” Scully asks, breaking the silence. 

“Really?”

“It was always Mulder’s office. I joined the X-Files originally to discredit Mulder’s work. Over the years we were always on the road or I would work upstairs in the lounge. I never minded but I probably should have,” Scully says. Sometimes she has a tendency of distancing herself, not being fully present.

It’s the same reason why she still lives in an apartment. The reason why her longest relationship is with bars the next town over. The reason that her date with Starling suddenly makes her nervous. 

Starling doesn’t know what to say. She sees a look in Dana’s eyes that is kind of sad, kind of remorseful. She kisses Scully’s forehead. It’s a simple act that should comfort Dana.

It doesn’t though. Dana slowly stands up, gently touching Clarice’s hips so she can stand up. No matter how she feels about sleeping with Clarice, she’s not used to this level of intimacy. Scully almost laughs. She can sleep with a coworker or a stranger from a bar without too much thinking, but the second she starts feeling something other than raw desire she hesitates. 

“Scully, are you alright?” Clarice is worried that she misread the situation, that she did something to upset Dana. This is such new territory for her, feeling like absolute strangers one minute to sleeping with each other the next. 

Dana backs away, suddenly uncomfortable. 

“Wait, don’t go,” Clarice pleads. When Dana turns back she continues, “Did I do something wrong?”

“I can’t do this, Clarice, and I’m sorry,” Dana doesn’t seem sorry from her tone of voice, but those pale blue eyes are full of regret. 

“What can’t you do, Dana? I am good enough for you to fuck for a week but suddenly not good enough for one date tonight?” 

Clarice gets up and makes her way towards the door. She pushes past Scully, heading towards the door. 

“Starling, I--” 

Whatever Scully was going to say is cut off by Clarice walking out the door. Scully pinches the bridge of her nose, feeling the beginning of a headache. The worst part is that Clarice was absolutely right to call Scully out like that. 

This has become the new normal for Scully, but she realizes that it must not be for Clarice. Their one night stand had become a couple nights full of raw and rough sex where Scully went home each night, barely staying until Clarice put her clothes back on.

She waits a few minutes, listening for the telltale sound of the elevator doors. When she doesn’t hear them, Scully opens the door and finds Clarice sitting on one of the many boxes scattered in the hallway. 

“You know what I think?” Clarice sniffles as she brushes a tear from her cheek. Scully sits beside Clarice on the ground, waiting for her to continue. 

“I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”

Every nerve in Scully’s body is electrified. She wants to argue, to say something, anything in her defense. How _dare_ Clarice say something like that to someone she barely knows. In a way, she’s not wrong.

It’s so much easier for her to romanticize running away than it is for her to slow down and let herself _feel_ again. For a second, Scully looks like she’s just been slapped. She can’t even begin thinking of a response. 

“That wasn’t fair for me to say. I know you’ve gone through a lot recently. But you need to give yourself permission to feel happy again. It’s what he would have wanted,” Clarice’s voice is soothing. While she didn’t know the extent of her and Mulder’s partnership, she could tell how hard it was for Scully to even say his name. 

“How do you know that?” Scully has never felt this vulnerable. 

“Because you’re strong. You have such passion that you hold back. Listen, it’s okay if you don’t want to go on a date with me.” 

Clarice sounds so confident that Scully can’t help but listen to her, truly listen to the words she’s saying. 

“Dana, it’s okay if you want to end this, whatever ‘this’ is,” Clarice puts her hand on Scully’s thigh. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re terrific in bed, but I want you to let yourself be happy. Whatever that means. Can you do that for me?” She wants to add ‘for them, too’ but she feels it’s implied.

She looks at Scully, patiently waiting for a reply. Scully takes a deep breath and for a moment her demons are pushed to the side. She knows it’s going to take time for her to heal. She never even really tried to heal because just assumed this would be her new normal. 

But is she really ready for dating? Maybe. She hasn’t tried it or even really desired it for a while. But Clarice isn’t pressuring her. They aren’t confessing love or even promising to be monogamous. Clarice just truly wants to get to know her better. 

“I think,” Scully pauses and then places her hand on top of Clarice’s. 

“I think I’d like to go on that date with you, if you’re still offering.” This time, Scully is smiling, not hiding her reactions.

“Of course, Dana,” Clarice feels herself smiling. She doesn’t have any expectations for herself or Scully, she just wants to spend more time with the captivating redhead. 

Scully is looking forward to their date and it’s been quite some time since she last felt this way. She still has a long way to go on her path of healing, but suddenly it’s a little less terrifying.


End file.
